Everything that she says, no matter how hurtful or accurate, is valuable. It’s one of God’s best ways to speak into my life for areas that I am blind to. Commit to taking every one of those things back to God and asking for Him to identify the truth in what was spoken. From that, He’ll either change me or he’ll battle on my behalf and exalt me at the proper time.

You don’t know your own heart.

2 Timothy 1:12

1. I have still been doing controlling or manipulative things

2. I have still been overly harsh with the kids (and her too? )

3. I have put her into a position that leaves her feeling like she doesn’t have a voice and ‘just needs to get on board’

4. I don’t know my own heart and intentions

The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?
Jeremiah 17:9 NASB
http://bible.com/100/jer.17.9.NASB

Instead saying :

For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.
1 Corinthians 2:10‭-‬11 NASB
http://bible.com/100/1co.2.10-11.NASB

5. I have not valued what she has said and properly taken these things to God and asked for the truth to be shown.  Amy is one of the primary ways that God speaks to me.   She can hear His voice.